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New Selfie




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with love, Lela
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time watcher


Indeed things are improving on the home front.  It's funny, the advice I have received over the past few weeks has been "give it time..." Give it time?  Really, I don't like time-I don't like being patient, so that as advice isn't the greatest but it was the truest.  Time has ticked on of course, because that is what time does-it's all time does actually-just move forward.  So almost a month later, I have actually improved my frame of mind.  I have actually started to see some light.  Which is grand for me since I have been so negative and in so much despair.

I know that time will continue to move forward & I will just simply improve every day.  As long as nothing else is thrown into the mix, we'll simply just continue to improve.  Thank you for the ones that stood beside me, encouraging me and giving me advice and just plain listening to me grip!

 photo lelasigna2_zps00fb0aef.png
with love, Lela
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my to-do-list


My to-do list for today:


  1. Count my blessings
  2. Practice kindness
  3. Let go of things I can't control
  4. Listen to my heart
  5. Be productive yet calm
  6. Just breathe

 photo lelasigna2_zps00fb0aef.png
with love, Lela
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a little selfie


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with love, Lela
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I'll be there soon!


Fearfully, I am pushing forward.  I don't know the way, but I'll be there soon and find that comfort and peace I have been searching for over the past year.  Things get thrown into the mix along the way,  and they cause great set backs but I am still on the path & still moving forward to better myself, better my family & better my relationships with my family.  I can only do what I am doing now, and nothing more or less.  My love is the glue that holds everything together.  I pray for a strong deep love, so that glue never lets loose & everything falls apart.

Promises broken, are not promises respoken.  I am listening.  I have been tested, own faith in God and my own faith in myself.  That's okay though, my sorrow is temporary; but deep.

Over the past few weeks, it's lighened & I can see other things a little more clearly.  I have been given some amazing advice and some amazing insight on the future.  And it almost seems as though it's going to be better then ever.  Out of the fog and out of the "shit" there is something clear, something pure & amazing replacing it.  I feel closer to my family then I ever have.  My husbands speaks words he's never spoken before, reaching out for me more then he ever has.  It's not always welcomed, but it's always recognized.  It's my journey.

with love, Lela
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my sunshine.....


Today, I choose to be happy.  I may not be 100% secure in what I am doing, but at least I am going to make the best out of the situation as it is right now.  I cannot continue to structure my life around a situation that had nothing to do with me and was totally out of my control.  I want to feel the sun on my face again, and the wind in my hair.  I want to find the joy that has really always been in my life, regardless of someone else trying to steal that away from me (along with other things).  Only I can control my happiness.  Others can try-but it's really up to me how much I allow to burden me & today, I am really going to focus on happiness.  It's my challenge, in moving forward.

 photo lelasigna2_zps00fb0aef.png
with love, Lela
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finally, after all these years


I have purchased my first pair of expensive/fancy jeans.  For the past 15 years or so, I have purchased my jeans from Gap or Old Navy, with the occasional pair from JCPenney for Levis, and before that I was all into Wranglers & Rockies, so I would buy them from a local Western Store...now, don't get me wrong I love my Wranglers still to this day & still have a pair (or two).

Before I purchased these new jeans, I even went as far as ordering a pair of jeans from ww.ae.com, like all the college kids on campus are wearing & they are great-not long enough-but great.  Fingers crossed that my new fancy jeans are long enough & fit like a glove :)  I can't wait!

What else is going on in my world this week, so many things on the agenda-yet I don't feel like I am getting any of them done.  I need to give Billy money to deposit into the bank, I need to finish editing photos from my last session so I am free to edit photos from my session this Sunday coming up.  I need to blog about my last session, I need to blog about the coffee table turned ottoman (because I am so proud of the work we've done), I need to go purchase materials for making our headboard.  I need to do oh so many things.  This is typical though for me.  The kids have a game this Saturday, and despite what the kids want-I am going to take photos of them playing.  Yep!


with love, Lela
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in other news.....


I bought my very first pair of fancy jeans that were not from Gap or Old Navy.  That's right, they are Silvers, my first pair of jeans that were not on sale....I am kind of excited.  Maybe I'll post a photo of them later.....I know you'll love them :)
with love, Lela
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pet photography?


Okay, so we all know that I am a professional photographer on the side-but I have my limitations and I have my "likes" and "dislikes" as far as sessions go, for example I do not like doing posed infant photography, I prefer to do lifestyle sessions .... and I have never really taken photos of clients pets before.....until yesterday!  I had a client ask me to take some of her and her husband as well as their aging, sweet-gorgeous BIG dog....who was blind & couldn't hear....it was a little out of my comfort zone-but I think I did pretty good.  I am going through the photos of them now & this is the very first capture....sweet couple, sweet pooch!!
More to come later :)

 photo lelasigna2_zps00fb0aef.png
with love, Lela
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Spring Ball {has begun}


Now, the evening before the boys opening ceremonies & their first game, I asked them if they were excited and they both yelled "yeah..." I asked them if they wanted me to take pictures-they both said "Nooooo" and Xander added, "you should just sit back and watch your son's play baseball"....and I did.  But this morning I noticed someone else took some of them, mostly Weston-but there is one of Xander to-thought I'd share :)








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with love, Lela
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Friday Thought


I like this quote, but in my current situation-the person that makes me laugh "almost" everyday has caused me extreme grief & pain along the way as well.  Does one counteract the other?  Does one cancel out the other?  How do you continue to find joy and happiness with someone who keeps letting you down?  How do you find it in your heart, your sole & your body to move past that & find that happy place again.  Is that happy place gone?  Can be be replaced with a new happy place?  Should you just give up and resign yourself to not being able to regain that with your partner, or hell-even worst-with yourself?

How do you laugh with someone so greatly and then cry with them the next day?  Is this life?  Is it suppose to be this hard?  When I look around at the new relationships people are having around me, it seems like they are in some dream world, the same world I lived in not just a little over a year ago.  I don't necessarily want to return to that fancy dreamy state of mind-but it would be nice to find some peace from the unstoppable things I am constantly thinking about now.  When my eyes are closed, and I am in deep sleep is the only time images, thoughts & sadness isn't in my mind & heart.
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with love, Lela
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