The Pusher

I just want this out in the open for the record.  The reasons things are the way they are in our lives is mostly because I have pushed and decided them to be so.  If you like the way something is happening in our lives, it's because I fought to make it that way.  I guided someone to make that choice.  If you are proud for them, you must also be proud for me as well.  If you sit back and smile & say, wow-what a great father he is because ____ then you must know, that I am there-by his side, helping along the way.  Nothing that has happened was a decision he came up with on his own, or something forced on me.  I do not, of course, get credit for this-but know that is what is happening behind the scene.  There is much more, I have been pushing to have done-that just hasn't made it out in the open yet.  So if you sit back and judge that something has not been done quick enough for you, and you feel the need to speak it out of your ignorant mouth-please know that things are happening that you don't know about.  The reason you are not all knowing is because it's non of your business at this point.  We do not need your unwanted and uneducated advice on how to raise our kids (ALL FIVE OF THEM) nor do we want it to be honest with you.

Life is a wonderful thing, and we are all living it to the best of our abilities.  I for one, am not ashamed of myself or my life-no matter how it has turned out or how it will turn out.  Things are as they should be, and things will be as they should be.  I do not hold hatred in my heart for anyone.  I do feel as though, from time to time-I feel weary about the process of just knowing things can never go back to the way they were, in all regards & in all relationships involved.

But facts are the facts, and not everyone knows the truth-they only know what they need to know, or what they think they want to know.  But over the past several months, new things have come to light-that prove that I am not the "ugly" person in this situation.  And I would hope, after all has come to light you enjoy your situation & the people you get to be around in your situation.  I try not to be ugly, and say hateful things-even when they are being said to me.  I just don't have that devil in me so deep to be able to do it.  But I must say, sitting back and watching karma take shape on these true "ugly" people makes me smile just for a moment & then feel bad that I have smiled & I feel sympathetic to the small souls that have no choice.

So for that I ask that you pray for my family, my friends & pray in general-for peace, humility, love & grace.

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