Dwelling

Why would someone want to dwell on the past for the rest of their lives?  How many years must go by before you stop blaming others for your own mistakes, unhappiness or lack of control?  1 year?  5 years?  20 years?

I have watched people around me continuously hash out past wrongs they think they have suffered.  Spilling from their lips, their own interpretation of events that they remember from a five years old mind, or a drunk 21 years old mushy brain.  20 years later, you'd think you'd be done-worked through it-not sitting around thinking of new ways that someone, or something destroyed you and that is the reason you're not "this" or "that".

Get off your ass NOW, at the age you are now-forget what you think happened to you & move forward.  Make changes you know will better your life, one of which is letting go & moving forward.  Moving forward is very powerful & you can be very successful at new ideas & goals if you can do that.  I promise.

If you have a relationship that is lacking because of your idealistic way of how things SHOULD have went way back when, you can rebuild that relationship fresh-can't you?  Forgive them, this is for you.  Forgive yourself, this is for you too!

I have to admit, I am one of the for above mentioned people.  I have held on to a lot of pain regarding events that transpired in my youth with my biological father.  Now, I never blamed things he said or did on the fact that I wasn't a success in my life or for mistakes I made.  I never used his actions for my own bad or lack of action(s).  I did however, blame him for not owning up to it & putting me into the position to feel like the protector of my younger siblings.  Being only 3 1/2 years older then my oldest sibling under mean - left me feeling very grown up at a very young age.  I always wanted to hear him say he was sorry & he knew he did things wrong.   Specific things, not just a life time of made up bullshit-real things.  The things that happened were real and by any ones standards wrong.

But, years passed and I am never going to hear this.  I have forgiven him, and I have forgiven myself for allowing this to fester in me for years, way to many years.

I wish the same outcome for people I love in my family.  I won't name names, as we all know who we are & if this relates to you then you are probably part of what I am blogging about.  I wish the same thing for my friends.


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