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I call "BULLSHIT"


It's been a very very rough week.  So many things going on in my personal and my professional life.  It's a wonder I am still sane if I am being honest.

My dad's cancer is back, but after a week of worry we finally heard from the doctors that it is treatable and the chances of being "cured" are very very high.  My dad has agreed to get the radiation, and my stepmom is taking leave from work (extended) to be his sole care giver.


My mom is finally home from the hospital, she had been in for several days battling terrible tummy pains.  They found a small hernia and her stomach was very irritated.  The diagnosis was pancreatitis, treated and sent home to change her diet and remain well.

Beyond that, I have become more and more irritated that my family spends more of their time looking at useless crap on their phones rather then trying to keep and maintain a connection with each other.  I am not in any way making this statement and not saying that I have not been guilty of it myself, but I take time out of my "busy screen time" to sit and enjoy my families company.  It's starting to become so much further out of reach as the kids are all getting older.  We only have a few more summers with the boys before they are gone, living on their own-and coming to visit every once in a while.

Work has been crazy busy, not just for me but for my supervisor who has also hurt her back.  She has pulled it together and done most of her responsibilities-but I see her struggling and it is hard to know what to do.  I currently have just been sitting back waiting for her to ask for help-as I don't think she's the type of lady that wants you offering or even bringing it up.  She's pretty strong and independent.  But as the week goes on, I feel increasingly more guilty about not offering more.  In the past, however, when I have asked she says no-there are only a few things she'll actually give up-mostly just cleaning up things from events.  My guess is I can't fuck that one up, hahaha.  And she likes things to be perfect.  Why must I be such a flake.

I am exhausted from thinking about all this stuff.  This in the aftermath of me and my sisters trying to schedule our first annual sisters weekend.  My supervisor will be out on the Friday we planned to go, and so I cannot get off work & so it causes our weekend to be cut short-yet we are paying for the hotel for that evening.  I toyed around with asking my sisters to reschedule, and they seem on board.  Let's face it, if I am being honest, I can't really blow that money right now anyway.  Not with spring break coming up, W needing a new pair of shoes & my car needing not only four new tires, but new breaks and a tune up!  I think Bs truck needs a tune up too-but I am not asking, I am sick of asking everyone what they need and telling them what they need to do.

Speaking of that, that is another stresser-not only do I have to remember my own shit-I have to remember everyone elses shit too.  I literally have to remind everyone to take baths, to take the trash out and to pick up the trash cans.  I guess because I am the only human in our entire home that can see the trash or the cans still sitting at the end of our driveway (WHATEVER-totally being sarcastic).  Hell maybe everyone is on their phones because they are sick of hearing me bitch about it hahaha.  But you'd think that would make them just DO the damn stuff without having me bitch in the first place.  Agg...I am sure everyone can relate to this.

with love, Lela
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Cousins


There is one thing that I missed out on in my childhood, and that was growing up with my dad and moms siblings children.  My mom was one of eight & my dad one of three.  Each of them all started having children about the same age leaving us poor little kiddo's growing up in Florida-so far far away from Illinois alone cousin-less.  One thing is for sure, my children get to grow up with theirs & for that-I am grateful!

xoxo, Lela
with love, Lela
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